


What’s in my journal?

by SaDav5853



Category: High school drama - Fandom, Love - Fandom, Other Media - Fandom, nothing - Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23396371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaDav5853/pseuds/SaDav5853
Summary: This is a journal of a fourteen year old girl. Names and things will be changed.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 3





	1. The beginning

**Author's Note:**

> These are real people, the names have been changed though. If you recognize something that happened in it, and you wish for it to be taken down or removed, let me know. Enjoy!  
> This book is to my future children, or for my own knowledge to see what I was like when I was younger.

Testing testing.  
Today Maline and I went shopping with Mom.

I got clothes and back to school clothing. We all had a blast, and I hope to go shopping again soon.

* * *

(I was making a story and here it is)

Monday August 12th, 3019.

Today had many emotions in it.

My family and I had to go find a store.

With the world like it is today, we had to be careful.

You don’t know what might be roaming in the dark.

Today, my youngest son asked me if it would ever turn day, but I didn’t know what to say to him.

Tuesday August 13th 3019.

The sun is gone, I am afraid that it will never come back.

(That was the end of that so I started writing down motivational quotes. A lot of them)

* * *

Stay strong. If you fall into a hole and you can’t get up, just wait patiently until you can get back up and continue.

High school might be tough. Get involved and have a blast. You only have four years so why not dress up in a silly costume and make the most of it.

Heat is not matter  
Light is energy

Molecules and atoms combined together, It has mass and volume.

Just did science, going onto English.

* * *

I just finished a science activity, today I learned that there

It’s picture day, I was told to not wear my cape. I wore it anyway.

It is the first link leader group meeting today. It is also art club tonight.

81225 1 715154 4125 1144 25 415 25152118 251920

Test

20154125

Zyxwvutsrqponmlkjuhgfedcba

Today I brought my iPad mini. I am listening to beetle juice

* * *

Got an 85 on a test today.

Anyone trying to put you down is already below you.

People are fucking dicks. Some people need to learn how to respect people. Karen (not the persons actual name) keeps calling my name, and she is taking pictures of me. I look over and her phone is facing my direction. I ask her if she was taking pictures of me, but she said no. I don’t believe her.

After class I am going to ask Rachel why Karen was calling my name. In class, we are watching a video called “a world without water”. It is really cool!

Karen told me that I live in a trash house. She said, “at least I live with loving parents.” I did not take it to heart, and I ignored her. That is when she moved and took a picture of me. She called my sibling Maline an ugly whore. No one talks to my sibling like that. I don’t care what Karen says, I will not let her get to me. Maline gave in, they slapped Karen. A full on slap. She fucking deserved it. ( bit of background on Karen, she was a mythic bitch, and never let anyone speak. She had friends, and they were like the plastics from mean girls.)

Ron found my Instagram account, and started sharing it with others.

I was sent down to the office and I was honest about what I saw in the science room. I went back to the English room, but the door was locked. The bell had already rung for lunch, so the teacher wasn’t there. My bag was still in there. I had to wait until the teacher got back.

The next day.

People found my YouTube channel. *sarcasm*Great.... I can’t wait for people to play my videos in class. Fucking great.

We are doing a quiz in science and I did not study. I am going to hand the test back in and do it on Monday. I need to make a YouTube video today. Someone asked me what happened with Karen. I told them.

I got an 85% on an ecology quiz. People are watching my YouTube videos and I am embarrassed. I am now in English class. I did a public health survey. Monday 18 2019. Okay, it is Monday. I have English first.

Maline got called down to the office. No sure why though. I am doing a personal narrative in class. In GLS right now, people tarted humming the halo theme. It was pretty funny. We did journal entries. Tuesday 19th, 2019. The announcements are weird. The stream is actually working. Maline is talking about beetle juice again.

I just got a text. Mom was left outside. She didn’t have the house key.

I am in science class. We are watching a video about something.

I am learning about electricity in science. Just listened to O’Canada and announcements. (This is what it says in my journal lol)

The clothes are being donated, and you can donate your clothes.

It has been an entire week since I started brushing my teeth! I am so proud of myself! 13 more days until my dentist appointment! I just brushed my teeth, and am going to get ready for bed. I said I love you to Alex. They are so sweet. I wouldn’t mind dating them. Alex is funny and easy to talk to. Good night!

* * *

I just ate breakfast. I had waffles. They burned in the toaster though. LOL. I showed ninny and Pops (my grandparents) my report card! I am so happy! I got good grades! 

I am now in school waiting for the bell to ring! I am in science class, I played Hamilton out loud but no one noticed.

I am in English class. Today we are learning poetry.

I am in science class, we are watching Bill Nye. There was a PSA for children’s donations and school funding. Negative is electrons. It is December 5th 2019.

Two bro’s chilling in a hot tub five feet apart cause they’re not gay!

I got an 88 on an English project! And an 84! I am so happy! I am in science class. 

* * *

There is this cool dance coming up tonight! I am so excited for it! I can’t wait to see my friends there!

Tonight I went to a party! I went with Dean, Charlie, Mary, and Luna. It was so much fun! At the end the DJ played we will rock you. He also played sweet Caroline and the entire gym started singing a long. A couple of love songs came on, and I just danced with myself. I danced with Dean a lot! 

One thing I am afraid to write about une here, are crushes. So there is this boy that I like. He is sweet, adorable, cute, and just a big dork. Very shy too. I have been friends with him for a long time, and I’m scared he doesn’t like me the same way. I wrote a letter to him, and gave it a hint. The hint was too obvious though. So now I am scared of tomorrow. D-:

Okay so class was awkward. I had to go down to the raiders retreat. Actually, it is my first time being down here. I could just pretend like 8 never did anything. Maybe that will work. 

* * *

The talent show thingy is just two days away! I am doing an A cappella of this song for forever! Moline is not in it though, they used to be. I honestly think I can do it. It is the 10th of December 2019.

It is Wednesday tomorrow! Tomorrow is the talent show! I am so excited! My mom, dad, sister, sibling, grandfather and grandmother are coming! I am nervous though. What if I mess up? What if something bad happens? What if I wear the wrong outfit? There were these two guys doing an ending handshake. 

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed. I am listening to Hades town right now. This guy keeps looking at me. Mark wanted to airdrop a picture of himself into my iPad. I declined it twice. I won’t have a random picture of Mark on my iPad. No way no how. 

People are now talking about Star Wars! It’s cool. For some reason on YouTube I keep getting French advertisements. It’s really strange. I would like to know what they’re saying. It’s very quiet in the classroom right now, so I am playing music so it’s not quiet. Oh no, Mr. Fichbach is trying to rap! I just finished gym class. I am now in GLS. It’s strange Maline isn’t here. They usually are the one to start the conversation. That boy you talked about hasn’t said anything about the note. Maybe he forgot about it? Whenever I think about him, my cheeks go hot. Maybe that’s blushing, or maybe I am freaking out. What if I made him uncomfortable? And he doesn’t know how to say it. I will not say anything. Let’s hope he doesn’t hate or dislike me know. 

I am listening to teenagers, My Chemical Romance. It is such a good song! Teenagers scare the living shit out of me! They could care less as long as someone will bleed! I can’t get it out of my head. I am now listening to Black Parade. Who am I even writing this to? I am the only one who will read it. So why bother writing down what I feel, when no one will see this. You know? It is December 11, 2019. 

Today is the talent show! It is Thursday, 12 December 2019. I practised so much this morning. I hope to do well, even if I don’t win, it will be fun! So, I’m planning on wearing a headset. I am going to use my hands a lot. I learned how to say hello my name is Samantha in ASL. Or known as American sign language . 

Last night was so much fun there was this guy who did waving through a window. Which was really good! He won first place! 

I just got a free Coke from Rachel!

* * *

Tuesday, December 17 8:59 AM 

So, I got a good camera for Christmas. I had so much fun this morning! I got a really nice pen sets from Alexis. My older sister. I got slippers, a lot of socks, and an air purifier, and aloe Vera plant, And a really nice plaid shirt. I am so grateful for what I got! I love my family so much. My crazy Christmas break is going by so well! I am so happy that I am on break! I am too projects to do, so.

(I am going to stop here for today. I’ll add a chapter tomorrow.)


	2. Unus  Annus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember I am writing word for word of what is in my personal journal, but the names have changed. Sorry if it is confusing at times.

I didn’t do much today. I got a thing done. I am now ~~gettin~~ watching Unus Annus. They are preserving themselves in wax. I took so many new pictures with my camera! They turned out so good!

* * *

January 5th 2020.

I went to see the movie cats today. It was awful. No one understood what was happening. The singing was fine, and the filming was fine. But, the story was confusing.

* * *

I am in science class right now. We have a supply teacher today. Their name is Mr. McLaughlin. I am working on an Energy Project. 

Science class is over

* * *

I am now in English class. I am planning on getting my letter done. Never mind. I’m doing a culminating activity. 

* * *

I am back to science class. I am learning 

Science again today.

Exams in a couple of days. 

It is Sunday, February 16, 2020. 

* * *

Went skiing for the first time last week! It was so much fun. Today I went on a walk with Maline. And I worked on a project for Mother’s Day. 

Mother took away my iPad again. I can’t stand not having it. It’s almost like a drug.

* * *

It’s Thursday, and Mal and I have a doctors appointment. We are on the highway now. So we are at the doctors now. Not sure what to expect. I hope you don’t get a needle today. They suck. There was this lady with a face mask on. It was interesting to see.

We are on the highway now. So we are at the doctors now. Not sure what to expect. I hope we don’t get a needle today. They suck. There was this lady with a face mask on. It was interesting to see. 

Done with the first appointment. Mom stopped at Best Buy to get something. 

Scary thing, while Mal and I were waiting for mom to come back, I saw this guy open a car door! And this teenage girl looked terrified.

We went to Dr. Sam’s office.

* * *

It is Sunday today. Tomorrow is Monday. Last night, it is Sunday today. Tomorrow is Monday. last night Amy, Dad, and I watched Legend of the Guardians: guardians of Ga’Hoole. It is such a beautiful movie. Right now I am playing Minecraft sky block.

* * *

It is Tuesday today! There is another strike on Friday. The poor teachers. Today while walking home, Dean and I started throwing snow balls at each other. It was fun. He is literally like a brother to me. Also, this book is for if I ever go missing. Not for writing feelings in

It is the end of the day alas, The sunsets in the moon rises. Good night to whoever is sleeping through my drama stuff. 

It is Wednesday. And today was a snow day! There were only three people at first period. Dean, Mal and I got bored in class. So we drew a dart board on the chalk board and started to fling elastic bands at it. Almost like a game of darts. 

My drama teacher taught me how to fold longsleeve shirts today. I saw a little kid try to play the piano. I told him he was so good at it. To be honest, children melt my heart. Their slobbery, sweet smiles melt my heart so much. To me it’s almost like seeing a puppy. .

* * *

It’s Friday. A strike again today. Yesterday was another snow day.

* * *

So it is March. I am using my left hand this time. 

It has been an entire week of me using my left hand. It has been so difficult to write notes in all my classes. I am still so slow at writing.

I practice my lines for the play I am doing in drama. 

Today is Friday, March 20. Everyone has to be quarantined. The Corona Virus is getting worse by the month. 

It is Wednesday. School is cancelled because of the COVID-19 virus.

* * *

The COVID-19 has not gotten any better. It is Sunday, March 29. 2020 is a tough year. There was potential World War III, the whole world is in a pandemic, and people have to stop school because of it. I miss talking to my friends, I miss school, and learning, and having something to do. School is probably going to be closed till September, maybe even further. It’s my first year in high school, and a fucking world pandemic happens. Not fair. I miss talking to people who aren’t my family. It sucks to be trapped in the house .

I have nothing else to do, so I decided to learn how to play Für Elise on the piano. I colour coordinated my piano, made a song on the ukulele .

I have this one post on Instagram. And I want to get it to 69, 420, 666 comments. I’m watching death note at the moment. It is 12:26 PM Monday, March 30, 2020.

so now that we are all caught up with things. Hi, my name is Samantha. You can call me Sam. I have a sibling named Maline, a sister named Amy, a Dog named abbey, a cat named Scout, and two loving parents. 

Today I didn’t do much. I chilled around a bit. My mom made this amazing breakfast. I payed some subnautica, had dinner, got a shower, and now I am here. Writing down an online public journal entry for anyone to see. Well, have a good day everyone. I will add a new chapter when I have enough entry’s in my journal. 

Be safe and wash your hands. 


	3. Online school work

So apparently I have to do online courses because of quarantine. Stupid COVID-19 ruining my first year of high school. It’s all so stupid really. Didn’t do much today. Just chilled around and went on Omegle. It is Wed April 1st 2020.

* * *

Thursday April 2nd 2020

I didn’t do much again today. All I did was chat with one of my friends for a bit, and play Subnautica. I really need to start going outside more. This quarantine thing really sucks. Every day it feels like I’m not getting enough air. 

One thing I thought of today was, what if there was a movie where no one had makeup on? Like none at all, for realism, you know? Wouldn’t that be awesome? And this character grows up without wearing makeup, which puts him/her into a depressed state. There has to be a reason why he/she can’t wear makeup. Here is my plot.

Luna wakes up in bed, rolls over to her side and hits the alarm on her nightstand. It cut’s to Luna brushing her teeth, and spitting in the sink. She looks in the mirror and gets ready for the day. 

As Luna is leaving the house, one of her oldest daughters come down with a full face of makeup. Her name is Rachel.

“Hey Mom? Why don’t you ever wear makeup?” Rachel says in a snarky tone.

“Rachel, you know we have discussed this, I am allergic to makeup.” Luna say’s as she heads out the door.

“See you tonight honey!” Shouts Luna from her car while driving out of the driveway. 

It cut’s to Young Luna in class getting picked on by three other girls. 

Girl one: You're face is so gross!

Girl two: What type of name is Luna?

That’s all I’ve got so far. But I’m working on it. Anyway, this entry is getting too long! Until tomorow!

* * *

07/4/03/2020.

I was busy all day today. I was out with poppy (my grandfather) chopping up wood, and cleaning the backyard. I started the work at 10:30 and I ended at 5:30. I am so tired from swinging the axe to chop the wood. I got a pretty decent cut in my finger near the cuticle (the skin near the bottom of the nail). I had so much fun today though. After the wood was cut, we put them in a fire pit with a bunch of dead leaves and watched them burn for a bit. 

After that Poppy and I talked about everything. Funny stories, to religion, to politics, you name it, we talked about everything. As we talked I saw four hawks in the sky. They were almost doing a dance of some sort in the sky. It was so cool!

And that was my day! To whoever reads this, hope you had a great day!

* * *

08/4/04/2020

I didn’t do much today. I played subnautica, My mom made me French toast, and I talked with one of my friends Abagale (Not their real name). I have this apple tree sapling that is growing in a pot! I heard it will take about four years to have bark in the wood!

That’s a pretty long time away. I also practiced how to play Für Élise on the piano. With this whole COVID-19 going around, there’s nothing to do. On Monday I start online classes, and I’m not sure what to except. I’m actually kinda nervous about it. Well anyway, that was my day. Stay safe, don’t go outside in public unless you need too, and make sure to wash your hands. Till tomorrow night!

* * *

07/4/05/2020

Today I practiced Abide With Me on my electric piano! It was so much fun! 

I played Minecraft with my Sister Amy and my sibling Maline. It was so much fun! Amy and I built a house together, while Maline made their own separate house. We had this great dinner with my Nanny and Poppy. 

After dinner, Mom, Maline, and I went for a walk. While going on this walk, we started singing our lungs out to “Circle of Life.” From the amazing movie Lion king. While we were singing, these two guys that were on their balcony shouted from across the street “CAN YOU NOT SHOW OFF?!” I replied with “NO CAN DO! WE’RE HAVING TOO MUCH FUN!”

It was really funny. While we were walking away, one of the guys angelically sung “IT’S THE CIRCLE OF LIFE!!” 

We came back home, washed our hands, and now I’m on the couch with my Dad watching a show. 

That’s it for tonight, have a good night all! 

* * *

01/4/06/2020

Today I decided it would be a good idea to document my daily routine in quarantine. I had so much fun filming it. 

Also, online classes started today! I was so nervous this morning, that I almost puked. I went online, and it was actually pretty easy! It was nice to do school work in the comfort of my own home. It makes me feel calm, cool, and collected. 

I found that in a quiet environment, I feel calmer, than in a noisy classroom with smelly, yelling, loud, mouthed teenagers. I mean, I am smelly and I do tend to yell a lot, and I am loud, so I guess that makes me one of them. Haha. 

What am I even saying anymore? Lol.

Well anyway, re arranged my room today. I now have a desk in my room for school work.

My dad made an amazing breakfast this morning.

I just realized something, this is completely off topic of breakfast and school, but the cool thing about this book, is that I can reveal anything, as long as I don’t give out real names, or personal info. As you read this, please do remember, this book is Non-Fiction. This isn’t some idea. I made this book so people can listen to my ideas. 

Speaking about Ideas, I have a great plan for all of the 12 graders this year. If anyone reading this is a principal, listen to this. Whenever this ends, whenever we can get back to going to normal schooling in classrooms, contact all of the people who were in grade twelve that didn’t walk down aisle to get their diplomas, and invite them to a promuation. A mix between prom, and graduation at the same time. 

Well enough of me rambling, good night every one!

* * *

02/4/07/2020

I did a lot of math homework today! I didn’t do much geography though. There was an online test. 

For French I didn’t do anything, there was an error with the sound file. And for drama I answered what my favourite forecast is.

This is going to be a new experience for all of us. 

I uploaded a video to YouTube about my daily life while under quarantine. I documented what I was doing throughout the day. 

I also chopped some more wood with poppy. It was so much fun. We had a campfire as well. 

I got nothing to say, so that’s going to be the end. I know it was a short entry, but hey. At least I’m sticking to my promise of updating every day. Have a good night everyone!

* * *

04/4/09/2020

Alright, sont I accidentally forgot to post yesterday. I didn't do much actually. I found this pretty cool game, and I made a mad lib. It was so funny! That is my entry for yesterday, so I'll end it here. I know it was pretty short, but oh well. stay safe everyone. 

Also I was wondering if you guys could share my work. To the 41 people who saw this, thanks!

* * *

04/4/09/2020

It’s been a couple of hours since I updated. Honestly, my day is going by pretty well. Tonight, my dad and I watched Castaway. It was so much fun, and I started cuddling with my dog. 

To all of you who are reading this, what do you think I look like? Maybe in the next entry I can tell you guys if you were right or not.

anyway, that’s it for today’s entry, and please don’t be afraid to comment. 

The question of the day is “what do you think is going to happen this year?” Can’t wait to hear everyone’s responses! Till tomorrow!

* * *

05/4/10/2020

Today I didn’t do much at all. I woke up, did some homework, and lazed around a lot. I actually helped my dad move furniture around in the kitchen, but my Mom gave him a hard time. I honestly think she has Bi polar. We all want her to be happy, but she is never happy. 

My dad and I got into this amazing conversation after dinner, we talked about the world around us. And what the world is like. We made a plan, to go hiking on Monday so I can sketch out a rough design of Erin. In case anything ever happens, and we need a place to hide. 

After that thirty minute conversation, we watched Life of Pi together. It was fun, and I love my dad so much. He told me that he would die for me, and the others. I love him so much. I honestly don’t deserve a dad this great.

He also laughed so hard for the first time in a while, it was really great to hear. He was literally wheezing! It was great. 

Well anyway, that was my day. Till tomorrow 

* * *

06/4/11/2020

Today I helped my Grandmother cook for Easter dinner! She is so sweet, and kind. Tomorrow my dad and I go on a hike through Erin! I am excited! 

My sister has washed her hands so much, that they’ve started to crack. It’s crazy. My mom has this new routine where she has to get a shower every time she get’s home from work. 

I am so scared for the future, my dad is against the WHO (World Health Organization). He thinks that they are using communism, idk who to believe anymore. 

My dad taught me how to trust my gut feeling. And what to do if something seems wrong. That’s why I’m going through Erin to map it out. 

Anyway that’s all for today. 

Stay safe, stay at home, and wash your hands!

* * *

01/4/13/2020

So I forgot to upload yesterday, sorry about that. I didn’t do much yesterday. I didn’t go on the walk, and up west Canada, people are getting charged for walking with family. 

Today I didn’t do much, all I did was wake up, eat breakfast, and sleep. I know, my day was so fulfilling.

That’s it for today. I will try to remember to write tomorrow. Stay safe, physical distance, wash your hands, and stay at home.

* * *

02/4/14/2020

I had the strangest dream last night! I was back at school, and in this dream, COVID-19 did not exist. So my friends were all gathered around this table, and my crush Dean was back from this 3 week trip to Paris. See, he is in the Cadets, and sometimes he goes on long trips. And suddenly I’m in this field with all of my friends, and we’re having a picnic together, there’s this beautiful music playing, and I’m watching the sun set while picking flowers. 

Just tells you how much I miss my friends. And how I miss school. I really hope school comes back. I miss wearing funky outfits, and I miss my friends. I miss my amazing teachers, and I am crying more often than usual. 

I want to go back to school, I feel school sick. 

Anyway, today I did my homework, and I played games on the Xbox. 

That was my day, hope you all have a great night/day. 

07/4/18/2020

Sorry for not updating in a while, I was busy with my life. So, what happened was last Saturday, I was on a livestream with one of my friends. It was for COVID-19 research, and we were raising money for the event. And, we both promised to shave our heads I felt we hit the goal 1000 dollars. We blew past our goal within an hour.

So today, I’m going to shave my head. Mind you, I’m A female. And I have long hair, and it’s going to be hard to do, but I want people to know that I did a good thing. I am excited but also nervous.

Last night I had a weird dream, I was looking through a hole in Malines wall, and there’s was another room. In that other room, there was a girl living in there, watching us through cameras. I told my family but nobody believed me, and I woke up crying. It was awful.

I’m excited for today though because of the haircut.

That’s my journal entry for today, hope everyone stays safe, and washes their hands.


	4. May journal!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I forgot entirely about this, my apologies. Here’s what happens in the last weeks I didn’t upload.

Tuesday May 12th, 2020.

I am back from a break! Crazy right? Here’s what happened in the last weeks I have been gone. Okay, it was my moms birthday on April 25th, happy late birthday mom. It was my older sisters birthday on May 10th, as it was mother’s day.

I was told by my dad to make sure mom takes her pills or else he will divorce. And he put a bunch of pressure on me. I have a stronger relationship with my grandfather. I shaved my head, then I tried to shave my head again by myself but now it looks like a toddler did my hair. For some reason my dog dug her own grave in the backyard.

I had to bath Abby really well. I got a TikTok account. And I failed multiple tests. 

Math is going good, and now I am here, sitting in my room writing about my daily life to the public. Yay!

So that’s all you missed on me! Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy! I also met this really cool guy named Russell.

Wednesday May 13 2020

I didn’t do much today. Did some math homework, and played some doom. 

Ya know, I haven’t really gone outside for a walk in a long time. I’m starting to breathe heavily like I can’t get enough oxygen. I’ll go outside with my sibling tomorrow, maybe we can hike. 

With this whole quarantine thing going on, make sure to take on new hobbies. You will never get to spend this much time at home again, so instead of doing nothing, do something. Because at the end of it all, you will be saying, I wish I had more time. 

Did you know, the more you don’t exercise, and the more lazy you get your body will start to shut down and die. And I don’t want any one of you lovely people dying due to lack of physical Ed. 

Anyway, that’s going to be it for now! 

Au revoir!

Monday May 18 2020.

I may or may have not gotten grounded, reason being why I haven’t updated. So what happened was I got into my dads beer bottles. And he grounded me for five days. It really sucked. I am so exited for July 3rd! Hamilton the musical is coming to Disney+. My goodness am I exited! 

On Thursday I didn’t do much at all, but on Friday and Saturday I went outside and exercised. I saw a couple of birds, like blackbirds, robins, cardinals, blue jays, crows, and a yellow finch.

It was so calming to hear them singing their songs. I had so much fun with Poppy! He is my grandfather, I call him poppy. I played outside with my dog Abby, did ten laps from the fence and back, and helped my dad cut down a tree. I was a looker to see if there were anyone walking close to the tree. If so, Dad would stop cutting and let them pass.

Yesterday I played Minecraft with my sibling and two other people. It was so much fun! And now I’m here. I am going to update tonight about my day. Be safe everyone!

Couple hours later

  
I didn’t do much today. I went on Omegle. Went on YouTube for a bit. And watched Tommy Boy with my dad. It was fun. That’s all I did today. 

  
Tuesday May 19 2020

I didn’t do much again today. I really have get out more. Ya know? Maybe go for a walk around the block, and visit nature. I’ll do that tomorrow. Maybe I can have a picnic in the backyard with. 

  
Today, Nanny and I started talking about dreams. And my dream is to meet my favorite YouTubers. I mean, not just a meet and greet, but I want to actually sit down and have a one one one conversation with Seàn, Mark, Ethan, Tyler, Bob, Wade, and get to know them as a person, not just an entertainer. But that’s just crazy dreams that my head makes up.

And to those of you who have met your inspirations, and favorite YouTubers, I am not jealous, I am proud that you got the courage to meet them, and have them sign something. Anyway, that’s it for today.

Have a good night everyone!

Wednesday May 20th 2020

I did a lot today! First I woke up, had a shower, ate some breakfast, watched Jacksepticeye play SirenHead. After that I went outside to help poppy chop up some branches out in the backyard. I also helped clean the pool, took my dog Abby for a walk, and chilled outside listening to the birds chirping. It was really peaceful.   
  
After I did that I had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner! It is Nanny’s special! She makes the best pasta in the world!

Moving onto another subject, today when me and Dad took Abby with us for a drive, she started shaking and shaking. It was awful to see. She kept on whimpering in the car while Dad went inside the store. At one point, I had to grab her by the collar, she was just about to jump out of the car to chase after Dad. 

That’s all I did today, hope you all had a good day, and stay safe!

  
Thursday may 21 2020

I did a lot of fun things today! 

I woke up, and learned some Japanese with my sister. That was fun to do!

After that I played a game called cluster Truck, and watched Peter Pan with my sister. My friend called me during the movie, so I had to leave. Eventually I went outside and I got to use a chainsaw for the first time. It was really cool, my shoes got covered in wood chips. I was talking to my friend on Messenger and my mom came home. She got us badminton rackets from the dollar store. 

I had a nice chat with nanny. She is really sweet and kind hearted, but had a bad rough past. It was great.

That’s all I did today. What did you guys do? Anything special? See ya later!

Friday May 22 2020

I didn’t do much again today. I played Minecraft with a friend today. That was fun. That’s literally all I did. Boring, right?

Recently, I thought about a cool animated movie, about a child trying to come out to his parents.

The movie begins with a kid going to school, now that day, he saw monsters. These monsters have big heads, and they have big horns, big paws with sharp claws that can cut deep into his emotions. The monsters don’t hurt hurt him by slicing him open, they throw words at him, and the words slice him open.

When he goes home, he doesn't get away from them, his parents have turned into these monsters. Every word they say he cries.

That’s all I got.

  
Sunday May 24 2020

Today I used my handwriting journal, and I sometimes forgot how to spell the simplest words. Here’s my theory on that.

I think, when a person starts using technology for so long, the start to forget how to write with their hand. You at home, try this. Sit down at a table, get a pan, pencil or marker, and write about how your day was. Did you mess up on simple words?

Tuesday May 26th 2020.

I am going to school to get things from my locker.

Achievement success.

Next destination, get bathing suit at Walmart, and 20 other things.

Objective complete, side quest, check if store is open. Main objective, go home and play outside with family.

Wednesday May 27 2020

I talked with a friend all day, and played Minecraft with him. He kept on complimenting me, and it was very sweet. I also went onto Omegle for a bit. That was fun.

Thursday May 28th 2020

I played Minecraft with my sibling today. I also did some French homework with them too! My sibling is amazing and sweet.

Minecraft was fun, I had hotdogs and hamburgers for dinner tonight. That was fun.

I got into this really cool conversation about how people over sexualize furrys. I think that people put so much effort into a mask, and they want to show it off, but then they get judged because of it. It’s wrong.

Friday May 29 2020.

Unus Annus,

If you had one year left, how would you spend it? There is this YouTube channel named Unus Annus. Time is ticking, and soon all that will be left of the channel are it’s memories. So, do you want to be apart of a once in a lifetime event, or stay hidden in your room for all eternity?

Remember, you only have your whole life, so why not live in the moment? You can never escape the Inescapable doom inescapable doom, the clock is always ticking. Tick, tick, tick, tick, each second getting closer Andy closer to death. So live in the moment, you never know when your ticking will end.

Saturday May 30 2020

I heard that Project pride fall is a hoax. 

I played sims 4 all day.

My sibling while watching a movie fainted, their whole body went limp, and I thought I was going to lose them. They are in good condition though. It was apparently a really bad migraine. They said to me “Does anyone else hear a ringing?” And they fainted. I have nevertheless been so scared in my life. I thought I was going to lose my twin. 


	5. June Entries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> June is going to be crazy.

Monday June 1st 2020

It’s my dogs 10th birthday today! Her name is Abbey. She is a Border Collie Jack Rustle mix. And she is a sweetheart. It’s also the start of pride month! So happy pride month to all you LGBTQ+ people reading. Hell yeah! I don’t think I’ve mentioned this, but I am bisexual. 

I didn’t do much today, literally. You know, if we lived without the letter R, English spelling would be so different. As an example, this is a story I made today.

Thee (There) once was a little man named Edwad (Edward). This little man was always made fun of because of his height. He had so many things going wong (wrong) in his life, that he couldn’t take it anymoe (anymore). One day he went up to the oof (roof) and stood at the vey (very) edge. He let his feet dangle ove (over) the building. He stood up, and had these thoughts unning (running) though (through) him. These bad bad thoughts as he took one step close (closer) to the edge.

The wind is unning (running) though (through) his hai (hair).

He was about to jump, when a boy walks up to him fom (from) behind.

“What ae (are) you doing?” The little boy asked.

“What am I doing? Oh nothing. I just like looking at the sky hee (here). I can see so many shapes in the sky.” The (man lies.

The little boy says to the little man, “Ae (are) you a kid? You don’t look like a kid. You look like a shot (short) man. Not that I’m judging.” 

The olde (older) man eplise (replies) “Yes, I am a man. I am the same height as you, but I am an adult. You see, I have a disoder (disorder) that makes me shote (shorter) than most adults. I don’t know why god kept me hee (here) though.”

The little boy looks at the man, and says “Us little people have so many uses. You don’t know it yet though. God wanted you to live for a eason (reason), maybe one day you will find that eason (reason).” 

“Olivia!” A woman voice calls. The little boy looks away and says, “I have to go, it was nice meeting you though!” 

Fom (from) that day fowad (forward) the two hung out togethe (together), until the old man passed. 

Tuesday June 2nd 2020. 

I am going to take a break talking about what I did today. There is something I need to speak out about. 

Number one, to all those people apart of pride fall, shame one you. No one should be hated, discriminated, or treated differently because of a sexual preference. NO one in the world deserves to be treated poorly. And I know, you come to archive of our own to escape the world, but this time, instead of ignoring what’s happening around you, you need to open your eyes. Open them and understand that people are people for a reason.

Number two, I don’t know much about the riots. So I won’t talk about that.

Number three, STOP THE RACISM. I am going to tell you my opinion, and you, reader may have a different opinion than me. And that’s fine. I don’t give a shit if someone has a different opinion than me. Anyway.

About the racism, yes I do understand what happened with Gorge Floyed is horrible. I agree totally. But why don’t we talk about black people killing white people? Hm? Why don’t we talk about the white killing white? I know that people want to make a change in the world, but the people who have already been brainwashed to think a black person is evil, can not be saved by a post on the internet.

I remember there was a video titled RESPECT. It is by a YouTuber named markiplier. In that video, he talks about why it is important to respect others.

And he brings up a point. Respect isn’t something that’s earned, it’s something that’s given. You can despise someone all you like. You can call the person names. But you need to respect people. Because deep down, we are all people who were raised by loving (or unloving) parents. And these people who grew up poorly, and had a poor past, are usually the threats.

Number four, STOP WASTING $100-$200 DOLLARS ON A GOOD CAUSE! I am not speaking to the wealthy people. I am speaking to the people who don’t have enough money to support their own life’s. People say the internet’s is the best way to share your voice with others, so here is me sharing my voice. 

If you are someone who doesn’t have a good amount of money, than please, don’t spend $100-$200 dollars on a good cause. If that $100-$200 dollars put you in debt, don’t do it. I know, you want to be generous, I would want to do the same. But if using that money puts you into debt, and puts you into a bad horrible place where you have not much money left, don’t. Please. I don’t think people will want others to be financially struggling because of kindness. I understand you want to help, but even a dollar can help. Look after your financial state and think before you do. 

I just worry for peoples lives, and I don’t want people to go into financial debt because of a good deed. 

Anyway, that’s all I have to say about the world around me, hope you are all doing safe and well. See ya tomorrow!

Friday June 5th 2020.

We’ll I guess the see ya tomorrow never happened. Haha.   
I forgot about this. Oops. I try to keep on track of the Online Public journal that anyone can read... anyway.

I went swimming today with my family. It was so much fun. On Thursday I stayed indoors all day, I got a Reddit account, and I can’t remember past Thursday for some reason. My birthday is in 5 days. I am going to be turning 15. I am excited for it!   
  
I have no creative story’s to tell, or rants so it’s going to be short and sweet today. (Short joke)

Saturday June 6th 2020

I wasn’t doing much again today. I played Minecraft a lot, and the sims 4. If you ever want to meet me on Omegle, go on it every Wednesday day, Thursday, and Friday. I put What’s in my journal, Markiplier, Unus Annus, Jacksepticeye, And Crankgameplays. So if ya want to meet me on Omegle, put those interests. 

I watched a movie, played with my cat, and had McDonalds for dinner. That’s all I did today. Lol. 

Well, to those of you who are in a place with riots, if you take part, be safe, cautious, and aware of your surroundings at all times. 

Stay safe everyone.

Thursday June 11th 2020

Sorry for not writing for a bit. I was camping with my family. It was so much fun to watch the stars by the lake. THere was this great big storm last night. We were getting tornado warnings, and it got so dark, I thought it was night time. 

I started a wood working project! I am making a table! I am so excited to finish it! Yesterday was my birthday, and we were told that there is going to be a pride parade on Saturday, Maline and I are going to be in it! I am so excited! We also got Rainbow capes! Our parents are so amazing. We both are lucky that we have parents like that.

I got a water gun for the pool, I got so much clothing from my sweet grandmother, and two beautiful cards from Mom, dad, nanny, and poppy. I don’t deserve such an accepting, loyal, loving family. I will type what the cards say. So this is the first one, 

Today is your day granddaughter. It’s a day to look back and celebrate all the ways you’ve grown and changed and blessed the lives around you. It’s a day to look forward to the many exciting moments ahead. Moments just waiting for you to live them in your own unique way, with laughter and beauty and grace. And it’s a day to remind you of two important things: you are a beautiful gift to this world. And you are always, always loved. Happy birthday. 

I remember when I read that I both cried and laughed. That one is from my grand mother. And this is from my mom and dad.

You’re 15 today! Have a great birthday! 

Hey Sam, when did you turn 15? I’m pretty sure you’re still my 5 year old sister. When did you grow up? Never stop changing, never stop surprising us, never stop being you. -Alexis.

May 2020 be downhill, unlike the uphill. So far.

Hey Sam, remember to always stride, to be successful.. someone as terrific as you should be celebrated every single day! 

And that was from my parents. I love them so much, and I am so lucky that my parents are accepting of our sexuality. 

You, reader, please always know that you are cared for, that you are beautiful, and you are living. And you’re breathing oxygen. Know that, you might be different, but you are beautiful in your own unique way. 

Stay safe everyone!

Monday June 29th 2020

Hey guys... sorry for not updating in a while. Things have been going on, and I will try to write an entry tomorrow. Would you guys mind giving me some topics to talk about tomorrow? That would be great!   
  


Tuesday June 30th 2020

hey everyone! I hope you are all doing well! So, I met this amazing person on Omegle, he is so sweet, and kind. He compliments me a lot, and we spend day to day talking to each other. Sometimes we talk from 8:00 am and all the way to 12:00 AM. He is kind and he calls me adorable, kind, sweet, lovely, and everything about him is sweet. I’m not going to say any names, because that’s an invasion of privacy.

A black hole in space devoured an unidentified object, whatever was swallowed resulted in a major energy wave, it could could be so catastrophic that it could wrinkle space time. Scientists have no idea what this object was, but they are speculating it could be dark matter. The object is too light to be a black hole, and too heavy to be a neutron Star.

Saturday July 4th 2020

I woke up this morning, and I had peanut butter filled pretzels. I talked with my friend for a bit. And I did a test on some strawberries, I put some berries into a bowl of warm water and I waited for them to soak for 5 minutes. When I took the berries out, there were bugaboo in the water! Tiny white bugs! Ewww! I usually just wash them off and pop them into my mouth! But not anymore! Ew ew ew!

I mean, the bugs are extra protéine so. Anyway, I’m going to write more tonight, hope everyone has a good rest of the day!   
  


Sunday July 5th 2020

I didn’t do much today. I woke up, I talked with Cas for a bit. I played Minecraft with him. After that I went outside for a bit, played with my dog Abbey, had dinner, and talked with Cas till 12.

Cas is really nice honestly. We talk daily, and I think I might have a slight crush on him!

Monday July 6th 2020

I woke up and talked with Cas for a bit. It was a nice talk to be honest. After that I had breakfast which was pancakes! After I had my pancakes I talked with Cas a bit more, and went outside for a good 3-4 hours! 

After I went outside, I played more Minecraft. It’s my first survival world without cheats! I am so proud of myself! After I played Minecraft, I had dinner which was some grilled cheese! I talked with Cas, Marie, and Alice for a couple of hours, I watched YouTube, and went to bed. Today was a good day. I got to relax, and spend my time with the ones I love.

Tuesday July 7th 2020

Today I woke up at 10:00 am! I really slept in!

I am using my hand written journal again. I don’t want to forget how to write. It is way messier than it used to be.

Cas is a real sweetheart. I love his strength, the way he talks, the way he can compliment me like it’s nothing. Today he asked, “If we hypothetically shared an apartment, would we do the laundry together, or separate?” I said that we would do it separately, it’s more privacy doing separate loads. 

I want to tell him how I feel, but it might make things awkward. It’s going on three months since we’ve known each other, so I think I should wait a bit before I tell him. What do you guys think? That’s it for today!

Wednesday July 8th 2020

I woke up at 9 am today. Went onto YouTube and watched Markiplier old videos for a bit. After that I had a talk with Cas. Went outside in the pool for a bit. And when I went outside, my grandma looked at my hips and said “You’re hips shouldn’t be sticking out like that! That’s not normal, you should call a doctor about it.” 

To be completely honest, my hips have always stuck out like that! So I don’t know why she was freaking out like that. I take ADHD meds, and that gets rid of my appetite, so it’s normal for me not to eat much during the day. It’s usually at night when I eat the most. Anyway, it made me feel really bad about myself. 

But, I love my body the way it is, even with the stretch marks. And I wish other people could feel the same way. 

Well, that’s going to wrap it up for today’s update, hope you all have an amazing safe day! Also, I’m going to be updating ever four days now. So the next update should be on the 12th. See ya!

  
  
Wednesday July 29 2020

This month has been insane for me. Cas said he felt the same on July 11th, and we’ve been dating. But it’s long distance dating. He is such a sweetheart and apologizes for going to bed early for some reason.   
  


He’s so nice to me, and compliments me daily. And I also complimentent him daily. Anyway, I haven’t done much today, except play video games. There are these things called Gypsy moths eating the trees, and the town isn’t doing anything about it. It’s almost as if they don’t care. It’s dumb.   
  


That’s it for today, I promise I will update tomorrow.

Saturday August 1st 2020

I woke up today, like any normal day. I slept in till 10, had toast for breakfast, and went outside for the rest of the day. I’m just going to get straight to the point.   
  


My mom and dad had a big argument. After the argument, my mom drove off somewhere. And my dad came outside in tears. He said to me “I fucking can’t with her anymore sam. I can’t do it. Your mom and I are through.” And he broke down crying into my shoulders. It was so horrible to see him like that, but I kept my back straight and comforted him. I know this divorce has been meaning to happen for a long time. And the day has finally come. Please understand I will not be posting regularly because of this. Thank you for your understanding.

Monday August 3rd 2020.

I saw a Cicada shedding from its shell today! It was really cool! I also saw a leaf bug! It was really big! I took a bunch of pictures, which was cool. The whole relationship with Cas is going well. We talk on the phone daily. 

But I never get my hopes up, because anything could happen. And I am willing to accept that anything could happen. We have never met in real life. Only on the phone. Well, that’s it for this afternoon. I will update tonight’s if I remember to.  
  


Sunday August 9th 2020.

I am fucking shaking. Last night I was on a call with Cas right? We started asking dirty questions p, and then we started playing truth or dare. And I got fucking dared to send nudes. So I did. I trust him enough. And now I am fucking shaking. I don’t know what to do, what do I say? It’s so awkward.

We started masturbating through call, and I was very uncomfortable. I felt so awkward and odd. I wasn’t happy, or excited, it was a feeling that was terrible. This relationship is moving way to quick. I hate it, but I also love him, and I don’t want him to be unhappy. I don’t know what to do.

I also don’t imagine dirty things, they are more like adorable things. Such as cuddling by the campfire under the moonlight, being in a tent together and just talking. About anything and everything. But he sexualizes things, and I feel uncomfortable when he mentions them. Do I be honest and ruin his mood, or go with it? I also hate dirty talk. I fucking freeze up like a deer trapped in headlights. I don’t know how to tell him this, because I am an awkward mess. Please, I need advice. I need help, comment anything that I can do. I am asking for the readers help.   
  


Saturday August 15th 2020.

So my boyfriend understands that I am grey asexual! I am so happy! I really love him to death, and he is the best person I have ever met. He is very understanding and sweet and kind. He is patient and would do anything to make me happy.

I am so glad 2020 is almost over, but school is starting soon! So that’s a big oof. Anyway, I hope you all are having an amazing day, and if you’re not than there is alway tomorrow. 


End file.
